My Mother--Also known as MIMI!

Where do I start? Honestly, there aren't enough words in a dictionary to explain how blessed I am to have a mother like I do!!

My mother is the most beautiful person (inside and out) that I know. All of our lives she gave to us so un-selfishly! She would go with out new clothes or new cars or new anything to make sure we had what we need, and most of what we wanted. Growing up, I remember asking my self if she ever got a chance to relax, or take care of herself..and as I got older I realized she never had the chance.

She went to nursing school when we were young, and graduated with a high GPA--that's amazing considering she had to be a full time mom, wife, and student. I truly don't know how she did it, but she did. Her determination and will inspired me to always do better and never give up...

My mom was raised in church, although she left briefly, she went back. She met my dad when she was ONLY 14! And she was married at 16!!!! Can you believe someone finding their husband or wife at that age?? She did. I know God used my mom to reach my dad..She brought my dad to church and he was filled with the Holy Ghost. Both parents then re-dedicated their life to Christ and continued the LEGACY my Mawmaw Birdi started. They then raised us in truth. Truth that will be passed on from generation to generation. I love them for that!

Even though my mom has made mistakes,  SHE will NEVER be tarnished in my eyes. We all do things we regret and we all do things we wish we could change, but those mistakes make us who we are. Make us stronger, more defined as a human, and closer to God after forgiveness. My mom and step dad are prayer warriors! They are up at the crack of dawn, and stay up late praying! They fast methodically...they Want our family to be saved and want our family to be blessed. Its awe inspiring. To constantly think and give to others, even when you don't have much for yourself.


My mom never meddles and gets messy. She never entertains DRAMA. She never instigates problems. She never allows things like that to creep in and control her life. No matter what names she is called (by certain drama queens or attention seekers), or how she is berated...she continually forgives and forgets all trespasses. She never holds a grudge and is always willing to "move on". She always takes the high road! She even prays for the people who hate or despise her! What a GODLY WOMAN!


My mom also took on being a foster parent about 4 years ago, one more thing to add to her "good Samaritan" file. She had quite a few kids come and go, but she has now adopted 2 children. My baby brother Coby (shes had since birth) and baby sister Haleigh. What an added joy to our lives. Having those children NEVER effects her relationship with Emma or me of my sister. Emma always has company and family to play with. Those relationships are unbreakable! She is such an amazing grandmother and mother. She always gives 110% to all of her relationships!


My mom is my best friend. We talk multiple times a day, even if for only a few seconds. No matter the time or hour, I know I can count on her to always be there for me. She has never allowed anyone to treat me badly, and does not stand for her children being hurt. I can only say how much I love and adore her, and I hope to be only HALF the woman she is today! I love you Momma!

My family

Emma and Coby, they will grow up so close. Im so Glad to know even if she never has another sibling, that she will always be loved and have someone there to have her back like a big brother. Thanks Mom for bringing him into our lives! He's such an amazing little brother!

Peace and Reconciliation!

http://tilz.tearfund.org/webdocs/Tilz/Roots/English/Peace-building/Peace_Esection2.pdf

JUST SO EVERYONE IS CLEAR, THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I WROTE. THE LINK THAT YOU CLICK IS TO THE ACTUAL ARTICLE. JUST MAKING IT CLEAR (IM NOT PLAGIARISING)--SOME FOLKS ARE TOO IGNORANT TO FIGURE OUT WHICH BUTTONS TO CLICK TO VIEW THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE--SINCE THE LINK WAS INCLUDED IN MY ORIGINAL POST! BUT, JUST MAKING SURE I COVERED ALL BASES!

GLAD I COULD CLEAR THAT UP FOR EVERYONE!! HAVE A NICE AND BLESSED DAY!

THANKS FOR READING!

Church

Ive always gone to church. My parents never let me miss. I was forced to participate in everything, even if I didnt want to. Over time I learned the reasons why my parents pushed me into always going to church, participating in the choir, bible quizzing, plays/dramas, and youth groups....Eventually I even began to enjoy some of those things, but sometimes I just wanted to be a teenager. Enjoy LIFE. To stay home or go hang out with my friends. I look back today and I am SO very THANKFUL they pushed me in the right direction.

I have a constant pull to attend church (even if I cant), and I constantly think of ways to try and make life more simple so I can participate in choir, church plays, or church assemblies or special events, or....to just go to church. As of late, I havent been able to do anything of the sort and I hope to attend more frequent. It will happen!!!  I am so Thankful for that legacy--Holy Ghost filled parents and step parents. Knowing that my name is called out in prayer daily is a constant reminder of where I should be!

Even though I havent made it to church in a while, I know God tugs on my heart. I know my relationship with Christ.  I know God pulls me there..and Im so thankful for that, because if you cant feel any tug he has left you. I still pray daily, and I still strive to do better daily. Some time the smallest changes in life make the biggest difference..a simple prayer or a day of fasting can move mountains. I only try to be better, not the best..And its a daily struggle. I will not be made to feel guilty for not attending 4 walls to worship my God..first and formost, b/c no one knows my relationship with Christ and shouldnt judge anyway! Some people say its a delusion from the devil..keeping you away form church (and that may be somewhat true), but honestly its more true to those who couldnt care less about loving Jesus or striving to atleast have some type of relationship with HIM! God knows our heart!

Today we couldnt make it to church, but we worshipped at home watching a live stream of my fathers church, Livingway. What an amazing message from Bro. Massey, that God laid upon his heart. It was just what I needed to hear..its exactly what Ive been speaking about for a while now and I was looking for validation...Boy, God showed up and told me exactly what I needed to do! FORGIVE! LET GO! Even if Im never forgiven by those I have hurt, I will not let my spirit die or be diseased by what has been controlling my life!  I will refrain from the things that USED to be done...I will NOT allow the past to creep into my life anymore! You have to take the shovel of forgiveness and dig up the old roots and get rid of em!!!!

I will always try to raise Emma where she knows that it is the most important thing to be in Church everytime the doors are open. She sometimes even asks to go...and I love seeing her clap her hands and mimic what others do while worshipping because its so sincere...I love hearing her pray and love hearing all she prays for! She will at times feel the way I did growing up, but when she looks back, she will be thankful for the legacy I pass onto her!

Change is good!

So, Since I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) in 2007, I have struggled with my weight everyday. Its been a constant thorn in my side since then... If you know anything about the disorder you know that it causes significant weight gain even with a semi normal diet..and it also makes losing weight harder as well as preventing pregnancy (which makes me sad bc we def want to try for one more baby after this last miscarriage). I can eat exactly what a normal person does even if I cut my calories in half, and Id still not lose weight. Ill never forget my dr telling me "I could put next to someone without PCOS and they be the same weight, put you in a room for a week eating restricted calories and working out and you'd lose weight twice as slow". YAY..that was encouraging. What a bleak outlook! I became so sad and depressed and stressed all it did was make it worse. Now I take 2000mg of glucophage per day, so that it helps with the disorder and also help me lose more weight...
I dont know when I made the decision to be serious about losing the weight (I should say fight to lose it, bc its an uphill battle), but the last few weeks I have been really trying to eat less and better. Then I met a neighbor with the same goals and we have started walking together. It has been the BEST decision EVER. Im also using Myfitnesspal on the Iphone and it hasnt let me down. It measures every single calorie of food that I put in my mouth..including all the nutrients and fats and so on. It is the most amazing thing! So..this is the CHANGE I want! The CHANGE I need! 85 lbs in a year! I WILL DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! No more stressing out or worrying about how to do it, Im just doing it! No more depression over this...I will conquer it! It will not conquer me!

Dream With Me
Love love!

The Past

You cannot erase the past, but you must LET IT GO! You cannot change yesterday, but you can always accept the lesson learned!

Ive learned that mistakes will almost always be made, no matter how hard we try to prevent them or make them go away..But mistakes make us wiser, stronger, and better!
Ive been hateful, Ive been ugly, Ive allowed bad things in my life, Ive done bad things, Ive hurt people, Ive hurt family, and Ive hurt friends.
But Ive also been hurt, been pushed away, been neglected, had my heart crushed, lied to, been called names, been blamed...Ive had hurt. Ive been hurt.

All of these things that have been done to me, or that Ive ever done, Have shaped me. Ive learned lessons from each "mistake". With all of that being said, Im ready to live only in the present. All we have is right now, and if we are constantly worried about what others think of us or do to us, we will never be able to truly be happy and live life in the moment! Other wise, We will always be worried about whats going to happen or who's going to hurt us!!!! Im 24 years old and feel wiser beyond my years...the things I did when I was 17, 18,19, or 20 years old are NO LONGER a part of my life or a part of me-----Ive grown up.

Im no longer worried with what ANYONE thinks about me, no longer worried about drama, no longer worried about anything but my husband, daughter, family, job, and friends! I am an ADULT. My past will NOT DEFINE ME!
If you cant move on, dont force others to live in your misery. Just b/c you cant let go of the past, doesnt mean others have to continue to hang on or be brought down to your level! If you cant accept "Im sorry" "Lets move on" "Lets Forget", then you have the problem.

Ahhhhhh, the feeling of RELEASE!

I look forward to my bright future. It will include Growing my relationship with Christ, growing my relationship with my Husband and Daughter, and growing my relationship with Family and Friends. I choose to Focus on the road ahead, no longer looking BACKWARDS! Its the only way to ADVANCE in life! :)

My Blessing... my Beautiful Emma Kate

3 years ago, God gave me the most wonderful gift...the gift of motherhood!!! Even after doctors told me I would never carry or deliver a child, God said otherwise! He blessed me with a beautiful, vibrant, joyful, exuberant  daughter (who will be 3 next month, wow time flies)...My sweet Emma Kate. She's my sunshine on a dark day. She's my joy in a sad time. She's my constant light, showing me God's love! She is so super intelligent and talented. She will be joining Dance in the fall, already playing musical instruments (granted its her way), and is already singing like her mommy. What ways God will use her...I am so excited to see her grow into a beautiful, Godly young lady. Although I do not want to rush her life, I so look forward to the day that she looks at me the way I look at my mother, with love and frienship in her eyes!

My amazing husband

6 years ago, I met the man of my dreams. The man who has always been there for me, the man who loves me no matter what happens or has happened, the man who gives of himself selflessly, and the man who is the most amazing father to our daughter..Whitney, and I couldnt have hoped or asked for a more amazing man to call my husband and best friend! ....I think back and ask myself, "How did I get him?" God definately knew what he was doing, when he joined these two hearts! He's a constant friend and companion, and my rock! I adore him, and I pray God blesses him and draws him close each day hes alive!! He means the world to me! 

Love God. Love People. Love Self.

This has been weighing heavily on my heart lately...and I saw someone post this on Facebook today. You can not use being scared to be a hypocrite as a reason to keep yourself from going to church and serving God .........and that has been on BIG factor in my life. I constantly feel unworthy, b/c I do not want to be seen as person who goes to church and then walks away cussing or causing turmoil (b/c we are human)--and that is so True, but He fixes the broken hearts, heals the busted the lives, loves the unlovable, and forgives the unworthy.
But just because you go to church DOES NOT make you Righteous or Holy. Going to church and worshipping makes you no more a Christian, than you standing in a garage and calling yourself a CAR! There are things you have to make happen in your life, things that move you to a different level. You have to stop making the same mistakes over and over again. Once you sin and ask forgivness, you need not do those things again....Stop preaching to people, and start reaching people! Love God. Love People. Love Self.
Although Ive made many mistakes in my life, I refuse to be judged on whats on the "outside", b/c I know where I stand with my relationship with Christ on the "inside". He is the Center of my universe and life..and just b/c I choose to wear pants, or cut my hair does NOT mean I am less of  person or Christian than ANYONE ELSE!
I refuse to be berated, cut down, or name called EVER again! I refuse for my definition of myself be designed by someone else.I choose happiness. I choose love. I choose to love people. I choose to forgive. I choose to forget. I choose to move on! I choose to learn from my mistakes and never look back! And I choose, first and formost, to Completely devote my life to HIM, my husband and my daughter!!

Today is A New Day

So, Ive been thinking about "blogging" for a while now, but Ive never found the time. Being that writing is the easiest form of expression and release of stress for me, I will MAKE the time! I've been dealt tons of problems lately, but I refuse to let them bring me down anymore!