Church

Ive always gone to church. My parents never let me miss. I was forced to participate in everything, even if I didnt want to. Over time I learned the reasons why my parents pushed me into always going to church, participating in the choir, bible quizzing, plays/dramas, and youth groups....Eventually I even began to enjoy some of those things, but sometimes I just wanted to be a teenager. Enjoy LIFE. To stay home or go hang out with my friends. I look back today and I am SO very THANKFUL they pushed me in the right direction.

I have a constant pull to attend church (even if I cant), and I constantly think of ways to try and make life more simple so I can participate in choir, church plays, or church assemblies or special events, or....to just go to church. As of late, I havent been able to do anything of the sort and I hope to attend more frequent. It will happen!!!  I am so Thankful for that legacy--Holy Ghost filled parents and step parents. Knowing that my name is called out in prayer daily is a constant reminder of where I should be!

Even though I havent made it to church in a while, I know God tugs on my heart. I know my relationship with Christ.  I know God pulls me there..and Im so thankful for that, because if you cant feel any tug he has left you. I still pray daily, and I still strive to do better daily. Some time the smallest changes in life make the biggest difference..a simple prayer or a day of fasting can move mountains. I only try to be better, not the best..And its a daily struggle. I will not be made to feel guilty for not attending 4 walls to worship my God..first and formost, b/c no one knows my relationship with Christ and shouldnt judge anyway! Some people say its a delusion from the devil..keeping you away form church (and that may be somewhat true), but honestly its more true to those who couldnt care less about loving Jesus or striving to atleast have some type of relationship with HIM! God knows our heart!

Today we couldnt make it to church, but we worshipped at home watching a live stream of my fathers church, Livingway. What an amazing message from Bro. Massey, that God laid upon his heart. It was just what I needed to hear..its exactly what Ive been speaking about for a while now and I was looking for validation...Boy, God showed up and told me exactly what I needed to do! FORGIVE! LET GO! Even if Im never forgiven by those I have hurt, I will not let my spirit die or be diseased by what has been controlling my life!  I will refrain from the things that USED to be done...I will NOT allow the past to creep into my life anymore! You have to take the shovel of forgiveness and dig up the old roots and get rid of em!!!!

I will always try to raise Emma where she knows that it is the most important thing to be in Church everytime the doors are open. She sometimes even asks to go...and I love seeing her clap her hands and mimic what others do while worshipping because its so sincere...I love hearing her pray and love hearing all she prays for! She will at times feel the way I did growing up, but when she looks back, she will be thankful for the legacy I pass onto her!